Barry Diller Reveals His Sexuality in New Memoir While Maintaining “Unique and Complete Love” With Wife Diane von Fürstenberg

Media Mogul’s Personal Announcement in “Who Knew” Memoir

In a profound personal revelation, Barry Diller, the 83-year-old business magnate and chairman of IAC and Expedia Group, has publicly acknowledged his attraction to men in an excerpt from his forthcoming memoir, “Who Knew.” Released in New York Magazine on May 6, Diller’s candid disclosure comes after more than two decades of marriage to iconic fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg, offering new insight into one of the entertainment and fashion world’s most enduring power couples.

Diller’s memoir explores the nuances of his sexuality and relationship in a way that challenges conventional labels while celebrating the authentic connection he shares with his wife. The title “Who Knew” itself stems from Diller’s reaction to the unexpected love story that blossomed between him and von Fürstenberg after they met in 1974, when he found himself drawn to her despite having only been intimate with men previously.

“I’ve lived for decades reading about Diane and me: about us being best friends rather than lovers,” Diller wrote in the excerpt. “We weren’t just friends. We aren’t just friends. Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years.”

This announcement represents a significant moment not only in Diller’s personal journey but also in the broader cultural conversation about sexuality, relationships, and the complexity of human connection that defies simple categorization.

The Revelation About His Relationship With Diane von Fürstenberg

Diller’s memoir offers a candid exploration of his relationship with von Fürstenberg, addressing long-standing speculation about the nature of their bond. The business titan makes it clear that their connection transcended conventional friendship from the beginning, challenging the narrative that has often surrounded them in media coverage.

“Yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane,” Diller writes in the excerpt, addressing directly the complexity of his sexual identity while affirming the authenticity of his feelings for his wife. “I can’t explain it to myself or to the world. It simply happened to both of us without motive or manipulation. In some cosmic way we were destined for each other.”

Belgian fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg and husband US businessman Barry Diller arrive for The Albies hosted by the Clooney Foundation at the New York Public Library in New York City on September 28, 2023. (Photo by Angela Weiss/AFP)

The revelation provides context for a relationship that has intrigued many in both the business and fashion worlds since the couple married in 2001. Their partnership has been a fixture in high society for decades, with both individually achieving remarkable success in their respective fields while maintaining a relationship that defied easy classification.

What emerges from Diller’s account is a picture of a genuine love story that developed organically, surprising even the participants themselves. The businessman describes how when he began dating von Fürstenberg after their first meeting in 1974, he “never questioned that its biological imperative was as strong in its heterosexuality as its opposite had been.”

Diller’s Journey With His Sexuality Over the Decades

In his memoir, Diller offers insight into his lifelong understanding of his sexuality, acknowledging that he has “never questioned my sexuality’s basic authority over my life.” However, he admits that for much of his career, he was “only afraid of the reaction of others,” a fear that kept him from publicly acknowledging this aspect of his identity despite being open about it within his inner circle.

“I could have declared my sexuality, come out as some others were doing, but I was among the many at that time who were too scared to do so,” Diller reflects, placing his personal journey in the context of a different era when public figures faced significant barriers to being open about non-heterosexual identities.

Reflecting on contemporary attitudes toward sexuality, Diller offers an optimistic assessment: “Sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century.” This observation underscores how societal understanding of sexuality has evolved throughout his lifetime, providing context for his decision to share his story now.

While Diller had only been intimate with men prior to meeting von Fürstenberg, their connection transcended his previous experiences and expectations. He acknowledges that their relationship “caused confusion and lots of speculation” when it began, but emphasizes that this unexpected bond became the defining relationship of his life.

Inside Their Unique 24-Year Marriage: “The Miracle of My Life”

Barry Diller and Diane von Fürstenberg formalized their relationship in 2001, and their marriage has now spanned 24 years, representing what Diller describes as a “unique and complete love.” What makes their bond particularly remarkable is how it developed from what Diller characterizes as an initial “indifference” before blossoming into something profound and enduring.

“A relationship that began with indifference, then exploded into a romance as natural to us as breathing, surprised us and everyone else. It really is the miracle of my life,” Diller writes, conveying both the unexpectedness and the depth of their connection.

Barry Diller, chairman and senior executive of IAC and Expedia Group, arrives at the Allen & Company Sun Valley Conference on July 9, 2024 in Sun Valley, Idaho. (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)

While Diller’s memoir doesn’t explicitly address the physical aspects of their relationship, he makes it clear that the emotional and spiritual connection they share transcends conventional categorizations. His description of their love as “unique and complete” suggests a bond that encompasses multiple dimensions of intimacy and partnership.

This “miracle” relationship has withstood decades of public scrutiny and speculation, emerging as one of the entertainment and fashion world’s most enduring partnerships. Diller’s description suggests that their connection transcends conventional notions of sexuality, partnership, and marriage, offering perhaps a more nuanced model of committed relationship that honors individual authenticity while fostering profound connection.

Diane von Fürstenberg’s Response to Her Husband’s Revelation

Following the publication of Diller’s memoir excerpt, Diane von Fürstenberg responded through a representative with characteristic grace and philosophical perspective. Rather than offering a direct comment on the specifics of her husband’s disclosure, she chose to share a poignant quote from New York Times bestselling author Diane Chamberlain:

“The secret of honoring love and life is to never lie!”

This response, while brief, captures the essence of what appears to be the foundation of their relationship: honesty, authenticity, and mutual respect. Von Fürstenberg’s choice to respond with this particular quotation suggests her support for Diller’s decision to share his truth while also affirming the value of authenticity in relationships.

The couple’s public personas have always been characterized by a certain independence alongside their partnership. Both have maintained distinct identities and careers while supporting each other, a dynamic that has allowed them to navigate the complexities of their relationship away from reductive public narratives.

Von Fürstenberg’s measured response to her husband’s revelation continues this pattern, acknowledging the importance of his disclosure while maintaining appropriate boundaries around their private relationship. Her emphasis on honesty as the cornerstone of meaningful connection resonates with Diller’s own account of their relationship, which he describes as being built on authentic feeling rather than “motive or manipulation.”

Barry Diller’s memoir revelation and Diane von Fürstenberg’s supportive response offer a glimpse into a relationship that has defied conventional labels and expectations. Their story invites reflection on the nature of love, connection, and authenticity in an era increasingly open to more fluid understandings of sexuality and relationship models.

As Diller concludes in his memoir, his relationship with von Fürstenberg represents something deeply meaningful that transcends simple categorization: “It simply happened to both of us without motive or manipulation. In some cosmic way we were destined for each other.” This sentiment, coupled with von Fürstenberg’s emphasis on honesty as the foundation of love, speaks to a partnership built on mutual respect, authentic connection, and the courage to live truthfully both privately and publicly.